Chris Eubank On Dignity, Virtue And Boxing

The announcement that Chris Eubank will be returning to London Real for the forthcoming Summit has got everyone excited here in the studio.

The last year has been one of transition and rapid growth for London Real, and no more are these changes characterised than in the now legendary conversation with Mr Eubank.

You can safely say there was a before and and after Chris Eubank when it comes to London Real episodes.

Following his visit episodes seem to be more intimate, more focused and more loaded with transformational energy.

Chris captures so much about the show, the Academy, and the values people are trying to live up to as they seek to grow and become masters of their own careers, relationships and happiness.

Yes, he’s a warrior. Perhaps Britain’s greatest. I remember him when I was growing up, his brilliant but bizarre fashion sense, his combative but meditative interview persona.

He was both villain and people’s champion. You loved to hate him, but at the same time you felt invested in him. A part of the nation’s pride was embodied by Chris Eubank. In the conversation Chris had with Brian, you see not just a fighter, but a leader, an orator, and a gentleman.

Chris easily shifts from spiritual truth to literary insight, and he does so with the same lyrical grace shown in his fighting.

He is no more poetic than when he talks about Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot. Chris quotes a whole passage from this book, allowing the depth and power of the writing come alive in his recital.

Chris talk about how memorising passages like this, makes us more humble, more self-aware. And that’s true, but Chris is not just reciting.

He embodies the truths he speaks of. By that I mean he literally gives them body, gives them life.

You feel the images and allusions take hold of your imagination. There is something spiritually cleansing about listening to Chris speak these words and you feel as much resonances in his perfectly chosen silences, as you do in his utterances.The Pale Blue Dot is not Chris’s only recital. He also quotes the Marianne Williamson passage from A Return To Love.

Again, this is another piece of writing that captures London Real values in a powerful way. To hear a fighter like Chris speak these words seems to give them more impact, more believability.

There is a deep sense of humanity to Chris Eubank, a dignity and leadership that he wants to spread to everyone he meets.

He says the warrior exists to demonstrate superior ability to all men, to be an example of God’s creation to all that might have forgotten it.

But the supremacy is for everyone, it is the supremacy over the spirit, the conquest of our basest instincts.

I think one of the reasons this conversation remains a favourite among London Real fans, is that you feel empowered by what Chris says. He has this ability to give you hope and self-belief.

I come away from listening to Chris feeling more resolved to become the best version of myself, to carry myself with poise and dignity, and to connect with others from a place of strength rather than fear.It’s not all spirituality and good manners though. A big part of this episode is devoted to Chris’s fighting career.

A philosophical truth or life lesson is never too far out of reach however. When Chris talks about Nigel Benn, he is very honest and self-aware.

He admits that Benn terrified him. But it wasn’t just Benn’s fighting ability, or his strength and spirit that scared Chris.

It was Benn’s “pure” character, his complete disregard for money or glory. A man like that, says Chris, is truly dangerous.

When we do something not for external reward, but because it speaks of the very essence of who we are, then we are unstoppable. Our energy is too pure for our enemies to handle.

Again, this is London Real. I would hazard the guess that all of us are looking for the gold within us, the purity of heart to carry us through the hardships, disappointments and grief of life.

Not only are we seeking this energy, we are trying to harness it, put it to good use. In the Bhagavad Gita it is called Dharma. In the Christian tradition it is called duty.

In London Real terms, I suppose it is this that we call accountability.

We are accountable only to the highest resonance of our souls. No one’s opinion matters, other than the still small voice within, which guides us from fear and greed, towards dignity and wholeheartedness.

When I feel I am disconnected from that voice, I listen to London Real, and when I need a shot of human virtue, I watch the Chris Eubank episode.To be honest, I have avoided this conversation as a #ThrowbackTuesday because it is so big. Everyone has their own personal and intimate relationship with the episode, so please share your thoughts below.

I would love to hear how Chris Eubank has affected your life.

Jocko Willinck, Dan Hardy, James Haskell And Dan Pena

It’s the weekend but we are still jamming here in the studio! I’m about to order some take outs for the guys here. Hope it’s shaping up to be a good one for you too!

Take a quick look at this awesome video Dani rustled up. Should give you a pretty clear idea of what goes on at London Real studios!

Also we are about to kick off our Public Speaking Accelerator Course, and we’ve just welcomed the elite batch of classmates who’ll be working with us for the next ten weeks!

Here are the links to everything that’s been happening this week:

Okay, that is a wrap! Have a great weekend and make sure you tune in for tomorrow’s fantastic New Episode featuring Rugby Entrepreneur James Haskell.

From Dishwasher To Meeting Dan Pena

How many of us at 18 years old would have had the courage and determination to live their passion?

That is exactly what this week’s Tribe Talk interviewee has done.

After coming to London on a £5 ticket from northern Spain, Dani Bonilla is already living his passion. Within a month of arriving in this city, he was working as a video editor for London Real, and had fulfilled his dream of meeting Dan Pena.

How did he do it? What made Dani different from the rest of us, who most likely would have stuck at working in a restaurant kitchen and hoping for a better future?

Dani has passion and confidence in himself, and has already started applying the accountability techniques we teach here on the Academy. Here is how Dani made his dreams come true.

Member Interview

How did you find out about London Real Academy? 

“When I first heard of London Real, oh my God, it was like three or four months ago. I was at home in Spain, but I just got back from the US. I was studying in the US, in Texas, in Austin, and a year before that I was in Michigan. So I just got back, and I started looking at videos about how to make money. I wanted to know why people get rich, and what they do different from other people. Because it is clearly not luck! So I started looking and I found Tai Lopez. I started searching for Tai Lopez, and then I found the interview he did with London Real. And then I found the Rich Dad Poor Dad book, by Robert Kiyosaki. And I saw that he had also done an interview here. So I started following him more and more and more, and I found Dan Pena too, all these business gurus. I came here to London because I found this cheap ticket, like a £5 ticket. And I decided to send an email to Brian. I wanted to do video editing, so I was like “Hey Brian, this is Dani, I’m eighteen years old, would you like me to do some videos for you…” And I sent him some videos of mine from YouTube. I really didn’t think he was going to answer me. But after two days, he just answered with two lines: “Hey Buddy, the best way to make contact with me is to sign up as an Academy member and come to one of our Focus Groups.” So I started looking for the Academy and how to sign up, and I decided to make the investment. And I signed up for the next Focus Group. That was on the 1st of January, and up until the 15th I was here in London with no job. I was working in a restaurant for a day, but I didn’t like it because I was working as a kitchen porter. So I came to the Focus Group, and it was like crazy, because, I stood up and said: “I’m Dani, and I’m looking to do video editing”, and I found out Luis who is also an editor was from Northern Spain as well, so I was like no way! So they told me to come to studio, so I came on the Monday for the first try, and they liked me. They say I have the right personality, and they liked what I was doing, and I have stayed since!”

Tell me about meeting Dan Pena. How did you pull that off?!

“I came across Dan Pena because of London Real. I was watching him, and I was like I really want to meet this guy. I saw all his castle stuff, and I was like, when I have the money I’ll go the castle somehow. When I came here, and I signed up to the Academy, and I knew I had my place at the Focus Group, I thought hey, I’m going to give it a try! So I decided to send an email to Dan Pena. I said: “Hello Mr Pena, this is Dani, I just came to London, and I just need someone to point me in the right direction, I think I have potential, and I think you are the right person. I know you will never read this, but this is just an introduction, and somehow, I know I am going to meet you at some point…” Three days later one of his assistants got back to me and said to keep reading the free stuff on his website. But then, when I got the job here in London Real, we didn’t know when Dan Pena was coming back, but suddenly we got the announcement that he was going to here on St. Valentines Day, at The Ritz. And Brian said, hey you guys should come with me and do some filming at The Ritz. On Sunday! On St. Valentines Day! So I cancelled my plans, and I just went there and I felt like an alien. A guy was playing the frickin harp, and everyone was dressed up really fancy, and I’m walking around there in my jeans. And I heard him open the door, I didn’t see him. He started talking to Brian, and I’m like oh my God, that’s his voice! Is that really him? He sounded so much like the podcast I thought it was just a recording or something like that. Then I came through the door, and I just went silent, I shook his hand and said, “nice to meet you Mr Pena”. I didn’t say anything else. But then then he came here to the studio the day after for the interview, and I thought, “if I don’t speak to him, I’m going to regret it”. So I just jumped in and before I left I said, “Hey Mr Pena, I actually sent you an email, saying I was going to meet you, and now I have.” And he just said: “Oh, I hope I missed it. Congratulations!” I just laughed and then I left.”

What would you have said two months ago, if someone said by the end of February you would be working at London Real and have met Dan Pena?

“Man I dreamed about it. I mean I actually had a dream about meeting Dan Pena! Maybe it’s a bit weird but I had a frickin dream. And I also had a dream about working here. When I came to London with no money and no job, I had a dream that was going to be working in London Real and I thought, nah, it’s impossible. But now I’m here.”

Where did you learn to manifest like that? You wrote an email, and saw a vision of meeting Dan Pena. Did you read about visions etc.?

“I actually I learned it from Tai Lopez. He always says – just give it a try. Behind the computer, there is always somebody. They is always a person, so it’s hard to get to them, but they are not aliens, so they are not somebody strange, so just try. And they also got there somehow, and maybe you remind them of themselves in the past. So just send an email, tell them how you can help them, tell them your story. And maybe you get something back. It’s the power of vision as well. If you already feel like you are going to do it, you will. When I came here to London Real, I felt, “I’m going to do it.” I didn’t give myself an option. I didn’t have anything, so it was this, or nothing.”

What is your goal for the future?

“One of my affirmations in the morning is: ‘I’m going to be the greatest filmmaker in the world.’ It sounds like I’m shooting a bit high! But like Dan Pena says, if he could go back in time, he would set his goals higher. So I’m going to set my goals high.”

What would you say to someone who had just come to London, and is working in a job they hate? 

“Don’t wait for tomorrow. You might die. Unless you are on the right path, because some things take time. But if you are not, just go, don’t wait.”

You can reach out to Dani Bonilla on the Academy or on

Tribe Meetups

Join us for:

See if there’s a Meetup scheduled in your city here, and if there isn’t let me know what Meetup you’d like to see and if you’d like to host one!

Until next week’s Tribe Talk, have a great week, and if you’d like to get in touch with me, message me @noorahnaker – I’d love to hear from you!

Speak soon,


Precision, Timing, Vision: Conor McGregor’s Life Lessons

To say that Conor McGregor has shaken the world would be an understatement. His work with Ido Portal, a friend of London Real and a favourite guest among our viewers, has literally changed the face of mixed martial arts fighting.

Many of the ideas that Conor uses and advocates have been around for while. Ido, as you know, has been laying the foundation for a new movement practice for years.

What Conor brings, however, is charisma. Like Chris Eubank told me, everyone respects a fighter, so if they see a champion living what he preaches, the world pays attention.

Here are three lessons I’ve learned watching Conor McGregor:

  1. Precision beats power, timing beats speed
  2. If you believe you are unbeatable you will be
  3. There is no enemy but yourself

  1. Precision beats power, and timing beats speed, every time

This comes from something Conor said to Joe Rogan after beating Jose Aldo. Aldo held the title for five years and was unbeaten for ten years.

Conor, despite his pre-fight antics, was respectful to Adlo’s skills but said that being powerful and fast is not enough.

Precision and timing don’t come from brute force, nor do they come from talent. They come intelligence and hard work.

No matter how talented you are or what your genetics are, what marks out the champion in any arena is smarts, and disciplined practice. Conor proved that to the world in the Octagon.2. If you believe you are unbeatable, you will be

We’ve all heard about the power of envisioning and affirmation. But it’s strange to hear a champion prizefighter confirm that they work.

It’s one thing to read about the power of vision in a book, another thing to see a trained warrior walk the talk in a deadly fight.

The difference with Conor and most of the self-help wisdom you’ll come across is that Conor’s vision includes hard work and commitment.

You can’t dream a UFC belt into existence, but you need a vision coupled with determination is makes a true warrior.3. There is no enemy, only yourself

Yet another gem from one of Conor’s infamous interviews. The point here is that your biggest battle in life is against yourself.

This goes back to Sun Tzu. If you master yourself, you become unbeatable, because an enemy wins by putting you in a state of fear or panic.

True knowledge and mastery of the self means not being controlled by your subconscious or your fears. As long as you know your enemy too, you’ll never be beaten. This applies to everything, from making that pitch, or having a happy marriage.

To know yourself, you have to love yourself. And let’s face it, Conor McGregor has no issue there!So there you have it. Conor has so much to offer as a sportsman and a martial artist. Even though some people don’t know how to take his crazy pre-fight hype, there is no doubt he is a new kind of athlete.

Let me know what you think about the controversial Irishman!

Sex, Rage And The Haters: What Gets You Out Of Bed In The Morning?

I am a graduate of the 67 Steps and if I had to sum up my overall takeaway from Tai Lopez, it would be this: do something.

Tai really helped me to push through paralysis, and start gaining momentum. Whether it is writing, gym training or playing guitar, everyday I return to this idea of just making a start.

It’s another way of saying “perfection is paralysis” but Tai emphasises that you can get a lot done by starting small.

“Make haste slowly” is his way of putting it. You can’t expect everyday to be finished in an orgasm of high achievement, but you can strive to execute small victories each day.

I love this idea, and it is why I continue to draw on Tai’s advice. Tai is very good when it comes to motivation. His ideas are grounded in an understanding of evolutionary psychology.

Basically, there is no point in beating ourselves up for being lazy or unmotivated, because we are wired for a kind of survival that doesn’t match up with our goals.

Our instinctual brains are in conflict with our personal ambitions for bettering ourselves.

The way round this, is to harness the instinctual brain and lead with reward. If we want to lose weight, pin up pictures of the kind of people we want to date.

If we want to make money, pin up pictures of all the holidays and dinners and expensive parties we can have if we are loaded.

There’s no point in being overly pious. We have to accept that our brains are wired to be selfish. So it is about tricking the brain into doing unselfish things for selfish reasons.

The bottom line with Tai is know yourself. Figure out what actually motivates you.

If I have to be honest, what motivates me is sex and anger!

I have lots of noble dreams, and my purpose here on earth is driven by passion and love for humanity.

But what gets me out of bed in the morning is hot girls and thinking about my haters.

These motivations don’t need to be in conflict with my highest goals. In fact, they are ideally suited to getting things done.

Tai helped me get rid of this idea that I need to present a Mother Teresa image to world. That is a recipe for failure.

We’re flawed, and what Tai teaches is that our “flaws” can become assets if we understand how our primitive evolutionary brain actually works.Once we find out what works for us, Tai says we often keep trying other things, veering away from our strengths.

This is a mistake. Do what works, and forget everything else. Life is too short to be all things to all men.

Double down on your skills and talents. Again this requires knowing yourself.

What Tai means by “know thyself” also has something to do with loving yourself. It is not just looking at yourself in the mirror and recognising your own face.

It is being able to accept your limitations, and having the courage to cut out all the things that don’t reflect your natural talents.

I have used this in my guitar playing. Since using the 67 Steps, I’ve stopped trying to impress people with complex musicianship.

I know my talent is as a writer, and I can create music through words. So I’ve doubled down on rhythmic accompaniment, and I’ve started to make progress.

On top of that, I don’t feel so overwhelmed. I’m much more focused in my music practice and that energy creates a manageable momentum.

This works for everything in life, from relationships to money.Another big takeaway for me listening to Tai was starting to think like an investor. Stop expecting immediate results, but put your energies into things that will bring the most long-term results.

This is a good one in terms of upgrading peer groups, by the way.

I have decided to be around people who inspire me, support me and offer real-world help towards my goals.

We can’t afford not to think like this.

This investor mentality is really what is behind Tai’s book club.

Academy member Phil Smy did a really succinct summary of the 67 Steps, saying that Tai’s big lesson is to “always be learning”.

I think this is true. If we are stuck, or lost, or struggling to know our goals, we should simply default to reading and investing in our own minds.

Tai says that a good default goal should be what Aristotle called Eudaimonia.

Eudaimonia loosely translates as “happiness”, but it is a much more textured concept than our usual idea of happiness.

It is about fulfilling your potential, fully realising yourself at the highest frequency of your soul.

In order to do that, we need more than a full belly and a good night’s sleep. We need health, wealth, love and happiness.

Let me know what your big takeaway is from Tai. He has affected so many people, so it would be great to hear how you have been impacted by the Knowledge Society!

Dan Peña, Marianne Williamson, Dan Hardy And Esther Perel

We’ve had someone drop out of our upcoming Public Speaking Accelerator Course ​so we have ONE spot left!

Click HERE to join us on this once in a lifetime opportunity!

Also, if you are a member you can now get Early Access to:

Check out this amazing video capturing the madness of the last week.

Meanwhile, here are some of the links to this week’s events:

Okay that should keep you going for a little while! Leave a comment below and let me know your favourite moment from this week.

And don’t forget to tune for tomorrow’s amazing conversation with former UFC commentator and former fighter Dan Hardy.

How Gratitude Creates Mindfulness

For the last four weeks, a few Academy members have come together as a group to experience a daily gratitude ritual.

In a 30 day gratitude challenge set by Academy member Jacob Zylka-Zebracki, members who took part have been discussing how they have been experiencing gratitude and the impact it has been having on their lives.

This was Jacob four weeks ago when he was getting Academy members together to take part in “The Gratitude Experiment.”

The conversations that have been taking place in the group have been interesting to watch, because while gratitude has been a difficult practice for members to implement into their daily routines, I am seeing how Academy members are coming together as a community to converse, create, learn together, contribute to each other’s personal growth, hold each other up and celebrate the successes that are achieved along the way.

From the community, this is one Academy member’s challenging experience that has ended up changing his life for the better:

“My week has been somewhat of a rollercoaster, I must admit, though the dark squares the week has thrown at me have been a lot easier to deal with than it otherwise could have been. Midway through last year I had an idea for a mobile app, which I have since developed, launched and am working on with laser-beam focus. It’s taken a lot of energy, effort and if I’m honest, all my money! I’m all into the project, which I’m enjoying tremendously. However, it doesn’t yet pay a living as it is in its very early stages, so to support myself (I’m a lucky bachelor, my only dependent being my beautiful dog), I was working at a theatre bar. It wasn’t much, but it kept the fridge at least half full. On Monday however I was fired from the theatre for a very trivial incident. Because the terms of the contract were as a casual worker, I have next to no rights in terms of challenging the decision but more annoyingly, no rights to unemployment benefits. Ordinarily this would have knocked me for six. How am I going to pay the bills, afford food etc., stay on top of things in general? Yet all I can feel is gratitude for the new opportunity this has given me; I have a superb set of friends who have been brilliant, offering me help and support. A number of Airbnb bookings have been made which will keep my head above water. But most importantly, being fired has given me the freedom to dedicate myself entirely to the app, a project I have put everything into, to give it the biggest & best chance of success. No distractions. No excuses. 100% dedication to pursuing my vision and passion for helping others. What could have been one of the darkest squares has inspired me to a higher level of consciousness and I’m exceptionally grateful.”

Let’s head over to this week’s member interview with Jacob and find out about The Gratitude Experiment, how gratitude impacts daily on his life, and why he believes that success happens in numbers, rather than in isolation.

Member Interview with Jacob Zylka-Zebracki

Tell us about yourself

“This is a long story and hard to boil it down. I have always been involved in some kind of sport or physical activity. I believe that the physical and mental aspects of us as beings are so closely linked that it is impossible and unreasonable to treat them separately. My joy of life is also a curse because I find so many things interesting that I am trying to invent a 50 hour day and the eighth day of the week. I was called “the truth amulet” as I tend to trigger honesty in people. I feel my honesty has got me into trouble, but it has saved me as well many times. I studied Sociology, Physiotherapy and finished High School of Fine Arts. I have had all sorts of jobs, which gave me amazing experiences, including as a security guard, waiter, bartender, interpreter, translator, physiotherapist and personal trainer, and here we are! I feel I have just brushed on the surface of my potential and now is the time to fulfil it!”

How does expressing gratitude impact your daily life?

“Since starting The Gratitude Experiment with Academy members, the implementation of gratitude has became much easier, and every day is better. The monumental moments however, always happened after me becoming grateful for things that I wanted to change and wasn’t happy about. The moment I realised that these things are not that bad, and I can actually appreciate them, a new chapter opened for me.”

What was your life like before you practiced gratitude?

“Much more negative, I was complaining a lot, not seeing the glorious universe that unfolds before my eyes every second. Being grateful cleared my perception!”

What is The Gratitude Experiment?

“I was trying to figure out a more structured method of implementing this exercise. Exercise is simple and difficult at the same time because we tend to stop being grateful as soon as we feel better and the universe is helping us. The Gratitude Experiment forces Academy members to continue no matter the effects. So, the answer is: I came up with the structured exercise to challenge ourselves and change perception about certain things. This is why I set weekly tasks. The main objective is to spread the knowledge of this concept and create the habit. I wanted to become more consistent as well, therefore I put myself in the position of being responsible for the participants. Symbiosis!”

What are some of the benefits you are learning on the Experiment?

“That possibilities and opportunities appear out of the blue and hard moments can be redefined and therefore are not devastating. Robert Pettersen is a brilliant example. He was able to see himself being fired from work as a chance to continue with his project instead of falling into despair! Amazing! Sylvie Fernandez Robles said she was rediscovering herself: “This experiment is carrying me on to forgotten shores. I am now at a point in my life where I can feel more equanimity…” “I realised that what really makes the difference, since nothing much around changes dramatically moment to moment, is my quality of mind or mood.” Andrew Pope had one of those “obvious” enlightenments… obvious only after being enlightened: “I’ve found that when I see a person and before we’ve even spoken I create the thought “I am grateful for you,” that automatically generates a positive response from the person. I’ve found not one person who does not at the very least authentically smile when I converse with them when coming from this mind-state.” – absolutely beautiful. This is a gateway to creating a better world! It works on every level and it brings peace back into the participant’s mind. Gratitude is creating mindfulness.

What would be a simple gratitude practice?

“I don’t think you can go simpler – it is just 5 minutes a day. It takes a bit of self discipline and the decision to stop for these few short minutes. Maybe that is what is the hardest – stopping the crazy cycle of daily routine. But, if a person is unable to sacrifice 5 minutes in the morning in order to shape their lives they are cheating themselves and using foolish excuses. This is about the responsibility as well.”

What’s your vision for life?

“The vision is still blurry, but I feel I can achieve great things. I would love to help people to better themselves and in turn bring change to the world. This is such a difficult question! It feels I am on the right path at the moment – the vision becomes a bit clearer! For years I felt I didn’t know enough to share with the world. But then, some breakthroughs happened. I remember reading a book written by Dalai Lama and I was surprised to read my exact thoughts! Slowly the confidence started to grow. And then, the path led me to watch few interviews on London Real. These people were sharing ideas I was believing in for years. This brings us to the ‘no-man is an island’ concept. That we are so beautifully interconnected and we should cooperate, because only together we can achieve greatness. And let’s be honest, success in not created in loneliness – we are all affected by so many people and their ideas. This is subtle sometimes, but still very real. The vision became: Jacob share yourself with the world.”

Why is there strength in numbers?

“I was watching the London Real interviews to “spend” time with very interesting people so that I could learn. The Academy felt like a notion worth being part of because I want to be among people that want to evolve! The community here is so important because it enables people to grow together, contribute to each other, and create that critical mass necessary for any kind of change.”

What are you grateful for?

“The list is endless, really. I am grateful for little things and massive things, and I am challenging myself to see more as well. Now for example, I am grateful for these questions because they allow me to refine my thoughts, and I am grateful for interesting conversations with so many people. I am in the process of creating content for my YouTube channel and website! I hope this will bring more value into people’s lives.”

If you’d like to take part in the 30 day gratitude challenge and be mentored by a member of the Tribe, please let us know in the comments below!

Tribe Meetups

Join us for:

See if there’s a Meetup scheduled in your city here, and if there isn’t let me know what Meetup you’d like to see and if you’d like to host one!

Until next week’s Tribe Talk, have a great week, and if you’d like to get in touch with me, message me @noorahnaker – I’d love to hear from you!

Speak soon,


Reignite Your Relationship

Now that Valentine’s Day is over, the big question on all our minds is how do we keep that sense of excitement, mystery and attraction going all year round?

This is the big challenge for a lot of us and with the pressures of modern life it can seem more and more complicated by the year.

Esther Perel is a psychotherapist by trade she has worked with many entrepreneurs, and she has fascinating insights into the way our modern lives have changed the model of traditional marriage and partnerships.

These are some of things she taught me that really helped me get a new perspective on love, romance and attraction:

  1. ALL Relationships Matter
  2. Keep A Distance
  3. Be A Disrupter

  1. All Relationships Matter

We are creatures of meaning. We need connection. We need to know we matter to others. We are alone, but we are never fully alone.

Esther talks about how many of us are driven by a need for a legacy. Our happiness is dependent how many others we impact in the world.

In that sense, she says that we are never truly alone, because our sense of humanity is so linked to the way that others carry us with them, and the way they affect us too.

So it is important not just to seek and nurture your partner, but to treat everyone with love. We literally exist through others, because as Esther says, without them, what is the point of our achievements and hard work.

  1. Keep a distance

All relationships depend on desire. And desire needs space. We need a bridge to cross, a journey, a sense of achievement.

It is like anything else in life – there needs to be a sense of struggle and victory for it to give us real value. Just like in business or our creative lives, if it isn’t a challenge, we are not interested.

Relationships suffer from this all the time, and it is a paradox. We would normally think that intimacy is the key to a good relationship.

Whether it is being able to see your partner in their passion, in their absence, or with an element of surprise, it all comes down to distance.

Esther says we keep the flame going by retaining a sense of mystery and wonder, and for that you need room to breathe in your partnerships.3. Be An Agent Provocateur

Esther describes herself as being a disrupter before the word became fashionable.

Having heard first hand the experiences of her parents at the hands of Nazi fascism, she says she is naturally driven to challenge any forms of hard dogma and convention.

These things are too tied up with prejudice and violence, so she understands the importance of being disruptive and challenging conventions.

Esther works a lot with tech professionals and entrepreneurs, and she told me that holocaust survivors were models of entrepreneurism.

A weird thing to say maybe, but it makes sense if you think of survivors as people who are constantly out of their comfort zones, constantly adapting, and who have to think creatively to avoid the brutal consequences of rigid conventions and automatic thinking.

This kind of attitude will not only help keep your relationship fresh, it will breathe new life into other aspects of your life, from fitness to business.

If in doubt, challenge the norm, avoid routine for it’s own sake. Be provocative.What challenge are you facing in your relationship right now?

Leave a comment below and let me know what you are struggling with, and how Esther’s advice might help you deal with the problem.

The Politics Of Forgiveness: The Spiritual Leadership Of Marianne Williamson

I remember the impact Marianne Williamson first had on me, ten years ago. I was 25, starting to get a first glimpse of how cruel the world can be.

I think the thing that drew me to Marianne Williamson was the very feminine power Brian talks about in this conversation.

Marianne is resilient and commanding and she doesn’t take any BS.

She is proof that you can be vulnerable and warm-hearted without being weak.

The thing that struck me all those years ago was the very concept of a miracle.

Like Brian says, the usual concept we have a miracle is of something fantastical, from the parables of the bible.

Turning water into wine, healing the sick, raising the dead.

That’s not what Marianne means by miracle. Her idea of a miracle is something ordinary, a shift in perspective that alters our daily experience.

Marianne tells Brian about her study of A Course In Miracles, which she describes as a self-study programme of spiritual psychotherapy.

As I understand this, it is a way of harnessing our spiritual nature to heal psychological wounds.

Marianne is keen to point out that she is not part of any one religion, but her idea of spirituality seems to come from a sense of individual emancipation – the journey towards self-empowerment.

She says a miracle is: “A shift in perspective from fear to love.”

I remember reading her talk about this years ago, about how we can start to see even our biggest challenges as opportunities.

The deeper I went into this idea, the more it had an effect on my life.

I was having real difficulty adapting to a new boss. I felt like he was out to get me, trying to put me in my place all the time and always demeaning my work.

I decided that I was going to see this challenge as a chance for growth, a way of bettering my professional skills, and evolving past personal hurt and over-sensitivity.

I am not going to say it all worked out perfectly. But it did alter my relationship with that boss, and we did start to foster a resentful respect of each other.

If I hadn’t read Marianne Williamson, it could have become nasty.

Some people we are never meant to get on with. Personalities clash and it is part of life.

But looking at these clashes as miracles rather than causes for terror and insecurity can allow us to harness these conflicts to widen our consciousness.

I think it is important to remember that a miracle isn’t always fluffy, and you don’t always get the girl, or end the journey with some sitcom moral-of-the-story to take away.

Life is messy. So are miracles. Marianne is very much a child of the sixties, and she speaks to Brian a lot about the influence Bobby Kennedy had on her.

The ideals of liberal enlightenment, human rights and spirituality that we inherit from the sixties generation are alive and well in her own philosophies.

In the sixties, people’s lives were affected by ideas, and there was a sense that if you changed the ideas from the grassroots, you could change the society as a whole.

We are so overwhelmed with terrorism, natural disaster, climate change and political tragedy, that we seem to be disempowered by the fact we are so well-informed.

That link between personal growth and social change seems to have been lost.

It is important that we get it back, not just to make the world a better place, but so we realise the power of our thoughts, and the impact each of us makes on the world as individuals.As Marianne says, thoughts cause the world to be a certain way. We shape our environment, not the other way round.

Marianne’s idea of spirituality is hard work, it takes sweat, commitment and heartache.

As she says, it is where the rubber meets the road. It is not fuzzy thinking, it isn’t being a doormat.

It is simply action taken from a knowledge that there are other dimensions to human existence than those that meet the eye, and the firm belief that the foundation of the human spirit is love.

Marianne believes forgiveness is an act of strength, not rolling over and taking the hits. It is about looking at our challenges from a place of broad self-awareness.

She is very honest about her own struggles with forgiveness, describing herself as a brown belt, rather than an expert.

For Marianne, forgiveness is how we get our hands dirty, it is where we get the real spiritual gains.

It is how we evolve and grow and become new versions of ourselves.

Marianne Williamson had a powerful impact on my life, way before she was London Real, but I believe this episode is essential watching.

Leave a comment below and let me know how Marianne has impacted YOUR life.

Chris Hadfield, Dan Pena, Dan Hardy, David Allen And Julian Treasure

33The week has flown by! It’s crazy to think it is almost spring!

My insane but highly effective mentor Dan Pena is returning to the studio on Monday for a one-off live broadcast – click here to leave a question for the 50 Billion Dollar Man!

Here are the links for all the stuff from the past week:

And we are done. Keep up the good work London Realers!